Updated 28 October 2026
CM Law's Ultimate 50 List - Separated Couples FAQ #42: How to address family and friends during separation?
How should you tell family and friends about a separation?
Tell trusted family and friends enough to obtain emotional and practical support, while setting boundaries around personal details. A short, factual explanation is often sufficient. You do not need to provide everyone with an account of the relationship breakdown, and sharing court documents or allegations can raise separate legal issues.
- Choose a small support circle and explain what help would be useful.
- Ask relatives not to contact your former partner, circulate screenshots or post about the dispute on your behalf.
- Keep arrangements for family events separate from arguments about blame.
A possible announcement is: “We have separated and are working through the practical arrangements. I appreciate your support, but I am keeping the details private. Please speak to me before sharing this with others.”
You can explain different things to different people. A sibling helping with accommodation may need practical details that an acquaintance does not. Family opinions should not replace advice about your particular family law circumstances.
What should you tell children about the separation?
Give children a simple, age-appropriate explanation of what is changing and what remains stable. Reassure them that the separation is not their fault, explain immediate arrangements honestly, and make room for questions. Avoid asking them to judge either parent, carry messages or absorb adult financial and legal disputes.
The Australian Government’s guidance on talking to children recommends keeping explanations factual and focused on their needs. Discuss school, where they will sleep and who will collect them, without promising arrangements that have not been settled.
Do not show children affidavits or lawyer correspondence to prove your version of events. Ask grandparents and other trusted adults to respect the same boundaries. A joint conversation may help where safe and appropriate; it should not be forced where violence or intimidation makes it unsafe. Obtain advice about parenting arrangements if safety or communication is difficult.
Can you discuss family court proceedings with family or friends?
You can generally seek support through private discussions with family or friends. Section 114S of the Family Law Act expressly excludes a party’s private communications with those people from the restriction on public accounts of proceedings. However, that exception does not override separate document-use restrictions or specific court orders.
The current provisions are in Part XIVB, particularly sections 114P–114S, rather than the former section 121. A straightforward announcement that you have separated is not automatically an account of court proceedings.
Keep support conversations genuinely private and ask recipients not to forward them. A discussion with a trusted friend is different from distributing material throughout a large community group. Consider who needs the information and why, and ask your lawyer before supplying protected material.
What should you avoid posting on social media?
Do not publicly share an account of family law proceedings that identifies a party, witness or another person protected by the legislation, unless an applicable exception or court authorisation permits it. Identification can occur without names, and a restricted social media audience does not automatically make a post legally private.
The Court’s privacy guidance explains these restrictions. Photographs, workplaces, locations and family connections can identify people. Public communication includes communication to a section of the public; section 114Q carries a maximum penalty of one year’s imprisonment.
- Do not post court screenshots or identifying accounts of hearings without legal advice.
- Ask supporters not to repost your material or publish their own accounts of your proceedings.
- Check any specific non-publication, protection or parenting orders before communicating.
Privacy settings can limit an audience, but screenshots and forwarding can extend it. An anonymous username alone does not resolve identification risks.
Can you forward court documents or your lawyer’s advice?
Do not assume that receiving a document gives you permission to circulate it. Documents obtained through court processes can carry restrictions on their use and disclosure, while forwarding confidential legal advice may jeopardise legal professional privilege. Ask your lawyer about the particular document, recipient and purpose before sending it.
Rule 6.04 of the Family Law Rules generally confines documents inspected, copied or received under the Rules or an order to the proceeding, subject to recognised exceptions or court permission. This can affect financial records, affidavits and reports. Not every document you independently possess falls within that restriction.
Privilege can be lost through conduct inconsistent with maintaining confidentiality, depending on the circumstances. Forwarding advice does not invariably waive it, but it creates a risk. Ordinary messages to friends do not become privileged merely because they discuss your case; relevant messages may later become evidence.
Yes. Sharing allegations can create defamation risks even when the audience is one other person, and disclosing private information can raise separate privacy issues. Liability depends on the legal elements, available defences and circumstances. Information being true does not automatically permit its disclosure under every applicable law.
A defamation claim requires identification, defamatory meaning, publication and actual or likely serious reputational harm. Substantial truth can provide a defence. Describing something as an opinion, or adding “allegedly”, does not automatically protect the speaker.
Since 10 June 2025, the statutory tort for serious invasions of privacy can apply to individuals as well as organisations. It addresses serious intentional or reckless intrusions or misuse of information where there is a reasonable expectation of privacy, subject to public-interest balancing, defences and exemptions.
Avoid circulating medical, sexual or financial details simply to embarrass someone. Reporting genuine concerns through appropriate channels involves different considerations from public exposure.
Can you share recordings, screenshots or intimate material?
Treat recordings and intimate material with particular care. NSW law restricts recording private conversations, including conversations in which you participate, subject to consent and statutory exceptions. Sharing a recording raises additional questions. Consent to receive intimate content does not give permission to distribute it to friends or upload it.
The Surveillance Devices Act 2007 contains exceptions, including some recordings reasonably necessary to protect lawful interests. Their application is fact-specific. A recording’s usefulness as evidence does not itself establish that making or circulating it was lawful.
NSW intimate-content offences now extend to relevant sexual audio and AI-generated material. Do not share or threaten to share intimate content without consent. The eSafety Commissioner provides reporting and removal assistance.
Screenshots of ordinary messages also need care: check privacy, court restrictions and context. Preserve relevant evidence securely for advice rather than broadcasting it.
What does a real court decision show about sharing documents?
In Harradine & Michaels, the Court permitted specified family law documents to be used in related Federal Court proceedings. It did not also make the requested declaration about publication restrictions without further submissions. The decision shows why permission for one use of documents does not settle every legal question.
In Harradine & Michaels [2024] FedCFamC1F 753, Gill J granted release from the document-use obligations identified in Hearne v Street, together with leave under rule 6.04. The permission concerned identified documents and a specified Federal Court proceeding.
The applicants also sought a declaration that this use would not breach Part XIVB. The judge required submissions identifying the power to make that declaration. This was not a finding that the proposed use was unlawful.
There was no order as to costs. The decision did not authorise general circulation among friends or publication online.
How can you obtain support without unnecessary disclosure?
Match the information you share to the support you need, and obtain legal advice before circulating sensitive documents. These restrictions do not require silence about abuse or prevent you from seeking help. Raise safety concerns with police, your lawyer or an appropriate support service, and explain any relevant court orders.
- Tell trusted supporters what practical help you need and set clear boundaries.
- Keep factual records securely and ask your lawyer how evidence should be provided.
- If material has already been shared, seek prompt advice about stopping further circulation and appropriate removal while preserving necessary evidence.
Contact Christine Manolakos and CM Lawyers for advice on communicating during separation, protecting confidential material and managing parenting or property issues. Have proposed disclosures and any relevant orders checked before sharing sensitive information.
General information for people separating in NSW. This article is not legal advice. Always have your circumstances and proposed disclosures checked by a lawyer.
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